Navigating Holiday Parenting Time
While the holidays are typically a wonderful time of the year, they can also be incredibly stressful in the midst of or even after divorce litigation. Because most parents are accustomed to spending every holiday with their children, the idea of having to share these important moments can be very difficult. Parents must remember that the best interests of their children is the controlling standard in all decisions regarding children, including the holiday parenting time schedule. Generally, the Courts believe that it is in children’s best interest to spend an equal amount of time with both of their parents for the holidays.
A typical holiday schedule will alternate all major holidays every year. For example, the children will spend Thanksgiving Day with the mother during odd years and with the father during even year. Although this is considered standard, every family is different and it is important to work out a schedule that works best for you and your children. For example, one parent’s family may have an annual Easter Egg hunt that has been and will continue to be very important to the children. In that case, the parties can agree that that parent will have parenting time with the children every Easter. Another example would be if parent’s family has a Christmas Eve celebration, while the other family celebrates on Christmas Day.
In the event that parents chose to split a holiday every year, it is also important to consider the distance and time to travel between each event.
Parties are always encouraged to agree upon their own parenting time schedule. In cases where that is not possible, the issue will be submitted to the Court. New Jersey Courts have approved the below holiday parenting time schedule, which will likely be implemented if the issue is left to a judge to decide. If you would like to diverge from the plan outlined below, you will have the burden of convincing the Court why the approved holiday schedule should not be implemented.
Parents should know that an agreed upon or even a Court Ordered holiday schedule may also be modified by agreement between the parties or further Court Order if needed. This is a common occurrence that could be due to modifications in family plans or simply because the children have gotten older and their needs have changed.
There may also be a year when one parent’s family is planning a family trip over Christmas break, for example, and he or she would like to bring the children, but it is not their year to have them. In this scenario, the parties could agree to a modification in the schedule. Perhaps the parent missing their parenting time could have the children for an additional holiday in the upcoming year, or have the children two (2) years in a row for Christmas Day. There are many options available to parties, if they are flexible with their parenting time.
If the other parent is refusing to comply with an agreed upon holiday parenting time schedule, you may apply to the Court for enforcement of same and for other relief. The parent violating the parenting time agreement could be held in contempt of Court or required to pay the aggrieved parent’s counsel fees and costs to enforce the agreement. The parent who lost parenting time may also be awarded compensatory time with the children.
It is important to remember that failure to comply with parenting time order is typically not an emergency, however. Many times, parents will feel the need to rush to the Courts for relief on Thanksgiving or Christmas Day if the other parent will not comply with holiday schedule. An emergent application, or an Order to Show Cause, requires a showing that irreparable harm will ensue in the absence of relief. While missing a holiday with your children is distressing and frustrating, it typically does not rise the level of relief required for an Order to Show Cause. These issues will be dealt with in regular motion practice.
For further information, please contact one of the attorneys in our Divorce and Family Law Practice Group.
Set forth below is the Court Holiday Parenting Time Plan:
Unless otherwise indicated those holidays shall run from 10:00 a.m. to 7:30 p.m.
Christmas Eve, December 24th, 6:00 p.m. to Christmas Day, December 25th, 12:00 p.m.;
Mother odd years, Father even years
Christmas Day, December 25th 12:00 p.m. to December 26th, 6:00 p.m.;
Mother even years, Father odd years
New Year’s Eve Day, December 31st 6:00 p.m. to New Year’s Day, January 1st at 12:00 p.m.;
Mother odd years, Father even years
New Year’s Day, January 1st 12:00 p.m. to 6:00 p.m.;
Mother odd years, Father even years
Martin Luther King Day
Mother even years, Father odd years
President’s Day
Mother even years, Father odd years
Easter Saturday through Easter Sunday
Mother even years, Father odd years
Memorial Day
Mother odd years, Father even years
July 4th
Mother even years, Father odd years
Labor Day
Mother odd years, Father even years
Thanksgiving Day and Friday after Thanksgiving
Mother even years, Father odd years
Special Holidays:
Father’s Birthday to Father (4:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m.)
Mother’s Birthday to Mother (4:00 p.m. to 8:00 p.m.)
Mother’s Day to Mother
Father’s Day to Father
Child’s Birthday – Non-custodial parent to have the child from 7:00 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. unless otherwise agreed by the parties.
Other days to be considered, if applicable:
Ramadan
Passover
Yom Kippur
Rosh Hashanah
Columbus Day
Halloween
Hanukkah
Kwanza
Sukkot
